School for Heroines

We’re meeting the needs of women who have a vision to be successful in their work, a desire to make a difference AND live a rich & and balanced life. That’s why we’re taking the truth about courage, creativity and collaboration, all around the world, because as we grow bold together, gracefully, we enrich our lives and those of others too. Our Mission Enlighten To raise awareness of the cost of being reluctantly invulnerable, and the opportunity for courage, creativity and collaboration Enable To provide inspired mentoring and a circle of resources where grown up, working women come to:  find support and release, discover creativity and sufficiency express unique passions and talents - through enriching work, lifestyles and community Enrich To create & facilitate programmes, events, and other opportunities for all connected to the School for Heroines’ community to enrich their own lives and the lives of others all around the world

Is it right to coach everyone? 5 Things Every Coach Should Know Before Marketing Themselves

Last week I playfully asked the coaching & consulting community to answer the following question:

The WORST thing about being a coach (or *consultant) is……………………….(please fill in the blank)

I got a really thought provoking response from one very experienced and respected coach who replied:

“(The WORST thing) is that there are still some people that perceive (before experiencing it) that coaching is just having a ‘helpful chat’ and therefore perceive it is not something they would pay much for….”

Now I agree with that. I have certainly had a LOT of unpaid, yet helpful conversations with a LOT of people. If you have too you might be interested to hear that I have learned a few things about this from my own experience and that of my own clients that have served me well, & more importantly, helped me to take the pressure off – saving time, energy & money too!

5 Things Every Coach Should Know Before Marketing Themselves

1 – It’s up to me as a coach, to be wise about who I ‘jump in’ to coach. Did they ask for it? Did I ask for their permission? Do I even WANT to help them? Or do I feel I should?

2 – It’s up to me as a coach, to check in with myself – asking myself, who am I coaching for – them or me? Is my need to help them solve their problem greater than their desire to do so? Is my need to attract them as a client greater than what my common sense tells me about their suitability?

3 – It’s up to me as a coach, to position the value of what I am offering. For example, I may have a niche that is just too broad. I may describe myself as a ‘Corporate Coach’ for example. This doesn’t really communicate what I do well. It’s static. It requires the listener to ask me about it… or NOT

Now, if I used to serve corporate clients, but now I want to work with entrepreneurs, I might describe my new niche as – ‘Coach to Entrepreneurs who want to learn to serve corporate clients more effectively’.

This has m-o-v-e-ment and direction in it, and gives those who hear it great information about who specifically I am helping and the problem I am helping them with. And that has VALUE for those who are looking for it.

4 – It’s up to me as coach, to surrender any need to prove my value to everyone. So, if my response in 3 is met with a lack of interest, this means that person is NOT my client. I can let go and trust, assured that I have no need to waste my time and energy trying to convince them that I can help solve their problem(s)…because if they wanted help, they’d be asking for it.

5 – It is up to me as a coach, to appreciate and demonstrate the difference between ‘having a helpful chat’ and supporting someone else through a particular experience or journey.

That’s where the difference between being a friend and being a COACH exists. And it’s when other people will start seeing the value – it’s also where I can clearly identify if that person is someone I should be coaching or not.

Now, If that all makes you feel ‘icky’ and uneasy, putting you ‘on the spot’… if you feel under pressure just by seeing one of these questions, or if you feel challenged by the replies… then I’ll say there might be something here I can help you with.

I’ve had this painful experience and I know the solution to this problem. That’s why I’m sharing it in a webinar that I’m inviting you to take part in. It’s called:

Women Independents: How to take the pressure off & ease your way in to being Ms. Artfully Affluent

You will discover:

1. The top 3 ways most women independents sabotage themselves and how to avoid this
2. How to take the pressure off your self & more importantly… get much better business results
3. Strategies you can adopt starting today to ease your way into being a financially successful independent – whilst embracing the freedom of the lifestyle you have chosen

It’s happening on 9th May at 1 pm UK time.

Find out more

Sign up now:

*I use the word coach to mean either coach or consultant interchangeably.

Being Well Known = Financial Security?

Many who choose an independent lifestyle & business – often as a coach/consultant – yearn to become well known fast.
What does it mean to be well known? Why BE well known?
Is it the best way to change lives?

Being well known may not get you what you think it will. It’s a very very challenging lifestyle. You don’t get to say home, work with your clients, then pick your kids up from school.

If you think it means you’ll make more money – don’t hold your breath – its likely you’ll have fees, salaries, promoters to pay and your weekends won’t be your own.
Perhaps you imagine being well known will cut out the footwork?

Yes I believe many see it as a short cut. I’ve watched my peers do it. They get their ‘well known moment’ but don’t have the ‘muscle’ to hold or sustain it…and ouch it hurts!
Either way, you’ve got to do the work ))

I know you can make a healthy income from a 20 hours a week coaching practice & and not be well known at all. So understand what’s behind your desire to be well known. If it is money – you can make it a lot more easily by staying true to yourself & building a small, thriving practice around what’s important to you – family, freedom, sparked by your passions. There is a pathway. I’ve done it. Whatever you personally choose to do – do it for the right reasons.

Are you sabotaging your dream by needing to ‘get it right*’?

Hello Beautiful Friend,

Is your need to ‘get it right*’ sabotaging your dream of true independence happening?

Earlier this week I shared that I am claiming my real value:

I am resourcing women in business to realize their dream of helping others by coaching or consulting, to enjoy life & make a healthy income WITHOUT feeling judged, compromised or isolated.

Now, I am not new to the womens’ business world, in fact, you may know I am a seasoned contributor.
After working at Board level in corporate life, which sucked life out of me, I’ve worked independently building up my practice over 10 years, had a daughter & created 3 profitable businesses in that time. It’s a space I thrive in.

What is more, I have helped a lot of people, especially women, who have felt undervalued and under-appreciated in their work, to translate that heavy overwhelm into lightness, ease, freedom and most importantly, the prosperity of their own independent lifestyle & business.

Now I have been aware of this but I haven’t really owned all of it. Especially the money part.

I’ve overlooked it – saying to myself I’m not a millionaire, who’s going to listen to me? I’m not the ‘right’* (*code for ‘perfect’) person to help.

I’ve pretended not to know I live a prosperous life as I know it: I trust in supply. As I receive more, I give more.

Many millionaires are not prosperous, are they the best teachers?

And many wealth creation experts are more akin to silver tongued ‘get rich quick’ slippery sales people who will tell you to buy their magic formula whilst grasping your credit card and then leave you to work it out on your own anyway.

This is so exploitative, and totally destroys an individual’s confidence where they are taking genuine risks. I deeply appreciate this, and that’s why I know I can help make the leap in to true independence even simpler and easier for those who want it.

Because being willing to strike out on your own is a risk. It’s consistently about risking, trying new, different things as you lean in to it more and more, learning to trust and appreciate yourself as you ‘get it right*’ and ‘wrong’ one step at a time, smiling along the way.

You’ll get it a lot wrong before you ‘get it right*,’ (and then of course you’ll become an ‘overnight success’ ).

Essential Learning:

Your business isn’t about DEFINITION, isn’t about ‘getting it right’.

You don’t arrive, in 6 months, 6 figures, end of story. It’s a pathway. You keep moving, expanding, magnifying as you follow it.

You learn to be comfortable with experimenting, willing to make ‘mistakes,’ see blind spots. You learn to value the expertise of those who can genuinely help you handle them.

You grow in courage & humour to keep getting out of your own way and owning those parts of you that keep coming to light, knowing they are VALUABLE, showing you the way to realizing the freedom of the lifestyle you yearn for.

Yes. Celebrate. Smile. Not ‘getting it right’ is a good, good thing.

What experiences of not ‘getting it right’ are you having?
What impact is this having?
I am listening with a smile & an open heart for you.

Tell us about it in the S.E.E.D. Community?

With magic & sparkle,
Karen Footman
Mentor to the School for Heroines

How to Come Back from Demotivation – Part One

The thing about ‘demotivation’ is – if you are feeling it, you are attached to it. Like any word expressing how you feel, it means something to you uniquely. As a result it’s our tendency to accept it, and try what we know to get out of it, rather than attempt new things. For many people that approach looks like this: set goals, push harder, create accountability milestones that will push you, whilst running your life using to-do lists.
The truth is these strategies are ineffective with most types of de-motivation, and in some instances they can even make you feel even more demotivated.

At its core, demotivation is about you not being fully committed to take action, and there are many reasons why you might be in that position. Having more distinctions for your demotivation will help you to identify the real reasons for your unwillingness to commit to act, so that you can take a more effective approach.
Continue reading →

What is it others are not giving you that you need to give to yourself?

Hello Budding Heroine,

Last week I asked The School for Heroines community what discouraged them. I was surprised to hear that so many are affected so deeply by the real or imagined reactions of others: ‘others don’t believe what I want is possible,’ ‘others are scared of you changing,’ ‘others aren’t willing to listen to my ideas,’ ‘others criticize me’.

All of these reflect a dependency on the outside world for approval, and the truth is, whilst ever you are looking outside yourself for approval, you will be vulnerable.

We build our true strength from the inside out. We start by hearing what we really want. We feel it. Allowing our selves to be touched by it, the essence of it starts to expand. It’s a beautiful nurturing process.
As mother to the idea, we have a responsibility to it; to take care of it, to believe in its individuality, to do the best we can for it.
But like any parent, we are tested. It becomes stronger, more mature as we grow it by allowing ourselves to want it, and by taking action. When it’s criticized by others who don’t like it, understand it or value it – are we to abandon it? Be embarrassed by it? What kind of mother are you?

No, we must stand up for it – not intellectually! We must believe in it; believe in ourselves, what we’ve created. Self-trust is critical. When we invest in nurturing our relationship with ourselves we are able to release the judgements of others (imagined or otherwise) and make way for our ideas to take shape, to manifest… to really happen if we want them to.
Self-trust is not the same as having confidence. There’s a totally different quality to it. Many confident people show apparent certainty but they don’t trust themselves or believe in their ideas at all.

When you trust in yourself enough, you’ll experience:

• Reclaiming your strength and energizing yourself
• Restoring your balance – building your ‘muscle’ from the inside out
• Using your courage to experiment
• Risking doing something new
• Becoming truly self reliant

So start by being honest with yourself. Is the thing you want, what you really want? And if so, what is it others are not giving you that you need to give to yourself?

What do you think? Are you willing to post your comments in the S.E.E.D. Community thread?
S.E.E.D. Community – What is it others are not giving you that you need to give to yourself?

Warm regards

Easy Ways To Make Goals Work With You & For You

The following practices have helped me and my clients reach our goals in ways that are easy and refreshing. Why not share your experiences with us in the SEED Community?

1. Sideline the ‘should’s

Admit it: most of your past goals weren’t even things you really wanted. We often pick the “next obvious step” (grow the business, improve performance or cut costs by x per cent, lose 10 pounds) or things we think other people want us to do (visit parents, spend less time at work) or things we think would make us a better (or better-looking?) person (get organized, get a makeover, meditate more often). Now, I have nothing against any of these goals themselves… the problem is one of motivation. This year I invite you to set ONLY goals that make you smile or feel a flutter in your heart, just by thinking about them, because you’ll find that your motivation lasts longer and the effort is much easier to invest.

2. Do what needs to be done

Especially for goals that are substantial to accomplish (like creating/offering a new product or service, health improvements, and relationship changes), it’s much more productive to focus on the actions or behaviour that are likely to bring about the outcome, rather than the outcome itself. Ask yourself, what specific actions will bring me closer to my outcome? Be really honest with yourself. It’s amazing how much energy we waste on ‘ineffectual stuff’. Set little daily and weekly goals, and hit them. After a week or a month or six, you may find you’ve surpassed the outcome you’d hoped for. Make five calls a day. Eat 5 servings of vegetables a day. Hold yourself gently accountable and do only what needs to be done.

3. Allow yourself to receive support

As you create your  goals for the year, double-check to make sure you’ve got as many ways for other people and life itself to bring you good things as you have commitments to make them happen yourself. We burn out on goals when it’s all do, do, do and no allowing. What’s more, we cut off opportunities for other people and the Rest of the Universe to experience the fun, freedom and JOY of helping US.

And Finally – One-on-One – “Spark Session” If time focusing on just YOU and creating what you want for this year (and beyond) sounds good, find out more about just how delighted I’d be help you personally. Spark Session »

Here’s to a rich & fulfilling 2012!
With magic & sparkle,
Karen xxx

Magic & Sparkle Season’s Greetings: Three Ways to Lose Your Balance

Hello Budding Heroine!

I am trusting that your plans for the festive season are unfolding beautifully. So many of us can end up feeling on the wrong side of the ‘Christmas Machine’ as one of my clients, Suzanne, described it earlier this week. As a working professional and mother of two boys, she talked about

1. feeling the enormous responsibility of completing everything at work,
2. planning and delivering the ‘perfect Christmas’,
3. and at the same time partying more in one week than she had done all year

Can you relate?
No wonder we feel ‘off balance’ and chronically fatigued before Santa’s sleigh has even left the North Pole!

That’s why If you can relate, I want to invite you to pause for just a few moments, take a deep breath, and create some space for you., and hold an ‘inner-view’ (yes! Pun intended). Ask yourself…

What’s unfinished…
for me to give?
for me to heal?
for me to learn?
for me to experience?
As 2011 draws to a close, this is a great time for contemplation, glass of wine in hand.
Continue reading →